Our beautiful Lucy passed away last Thursday, 17th November 2016

How it all happened and what the loss of Lucy has allowed to come into my life has brought me such understanding that everything happens for a reason and that there are lessons and blessings in even the most terrible losses.

Since her loss I’ve been reading posts on Facebook about dogs who have passed away, as we all do. I’ve noticed a pattern in the comments where so many people say things like “They can seem like a human child in our lives” and “It almost feels like they are family”. Lucy was every bit family. All our dogs are. They are people in furry coats. Just because they have different instincts from us and different things that they like to do, or don’t like to do, that doesn’t mean that they are not emotional, loving souls. Every soul is equal and it saddens me that so many people who have animals in their lives see them as some kind of second class citizen, just a dog, just a cat, just a horse…. If they could experience, as I have, conversations with these beautiful creatures they would feel differently.

Many of you, of course, know as I do that they are not ‘just’ anything, they are part of us the same as the humans we love are part of us. Often they bring more joy, more wonder into our lives than any of the people we have known.

Lucy was a truly loving soul.

Every single day she brought joy into our lives. She would carry her bed to us every morning as part of her greeting. She did it because every morning, no matter what was going on in our lives, seeing her do this made us laugh. Her favourite place to lay was by our front door. Every time we went to the kitchen or upstairs as soon as we appeared she would roll on her back and we would stop, crouch down and play the tickle game with her. We would laugh and she would laugh as we tickled her armpits and her tummy.

Lucy loved her raw diet and each day I would try to think what I could put in to make it exciting and interesting for her. Would it be extra bone broth, chicken feet, a raw egg with the shell, some freshly made yoghurt? Often it would be a combination because I loved watching her face as she chose what to eat first.

Lucy had joint problems all her life from being a puppy but she was determined to make the best of things anyway. When we found our lovely homoeopathic vet Sarah, our Chiropractor Emma and our Hydrotherapy lady Nikki (Team Lucy as we called them), Lucy’s life improved and much of her pain was taken away. It was a joy to see her truly blossoming and we will always be grateful to these lovely ladies for what they did for our baby girl.

I wasn’t there when Lucy passed over

I was away in Florida, running workshops and doing communications when Lucy became ill. On the Tuesday my partner, Mike, took her to the vet for blood tests which came back looking fine. On Thursday I was at the airport in Amsterdam, waiting for my flight home, when Mike called me with the awful news that Lucy had just passed away in her sleep.

I connected with Lucy immediately. She told me that “This body of mine has never served me well”. She asked me to tell her daddy that it wasn’t his fault because she knew he would blame himself. She also said that she will come back to us in this lifetime.

Our friend Dave met me at the airport when I landed and on my way home Lucy put on the most amazing display of rainbows I have ever seen, one after another, to let me know she was safe on the other side.

Our beautiful girl is now in healing, having her energy restored, and we can’t wait for her to be ready to speak with us in the next few days. Many of the animals I speak with teach me about the other side. Thanks to them I know that Lucy is surrounded by love and light right now while she heals. She is literally in heaven, happy and well. We bred Lucy and her mum, our gorgeous Keira, is so happy to have her daughter back with her. But we still have to find a way to cope with the fact that our house is as quiet as the grave, that Lucy isn’t here to put a smile on our faces every morning, that everything here reminds us of our baby girl.

I said at the start that there are blessings in even the most terrible losses and that’s the case here

To understand what I mean I need to explain that my first male Bernese Mountain Dog, Ty, came to me in 1982 as a puppy. He was heart, my soul. I had never known such closeness or love with a living soul. When he passed over in 1992 I couldn’t deal with the pain of losing him. I pushed memories of him away, buried them so that I could hide from the awful pain I felt if I thought about him. When I learned animal communication I couldn’t bear to speak with Ty because I knew I would let that pain back into my heart and I couldn’t stand that. Two years later I finally spoke with him, but I had to keep him out of my heart still. The pain was still far too much to bear, even though from then on Ty became my helper during my communications, along with my first Bernese girl Tilley.

When I got to Florida my friend Heide gifted me a healing with a lovely lady called Joanna Salerno. During this healing I saw Ty walk up to me three times. For the first time in nearly 25 years I was able to let Ty back into my heart, this time without pain, only with joy. I was finally able to deal with the grief of losing him and felt like I could breathe properly for the first time since his passing.  I believe Ty came to me to help me cope with losing Lucy.

It’s been nearly 35 years since I’ve had to wake up without a Bernese Mountain Dog in my life and Mike and I quickly agreed that we needed to get a puppy as soon as we could.  We had to wait 2 years for Teddy to come to us, brought by Lucy, but that’s another story.

Everything happens for a reason

Lucy kept her illness hidden until I had been away for several days. She knew I wouldn’t have gone if I’d known she was ill. She showed Mike that he is stronger than he ever knew. He was a marvel, taking care of her and making sure she had everything she could need. She waited until he was out of the room for just two minutes and quietly slipped away. She knew it would have been too much for him to see her pass. She waited until the day I was coming home because she knew that Mike and I would need to be together to comfort each other and to grieve together.

Lucy had several names. Lucy Lulu Bella, Lucy Lovelips, Luce the Moose, but mostly our baby girl. We love you our baby girl so much. Our hearts are broken. But we know that you didn’t come here to see us sad, you came to bring us joy and laughter. So I promise you that once we have grieved for you we will laugh with you again while we share stories of your antics and of your life. Thank you for the gift of having you in our lives. When you come back to us you’ll fill us up with laughter and love just like you did this time. Don’t be long my darling xx